ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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