Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
