so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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