how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
