God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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