You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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