I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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