Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
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dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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