I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
