he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
