he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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