Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
