they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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