btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
