We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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