i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
