Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
