What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
