He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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