Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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