Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Acid is not a monday night drug
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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