i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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