I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
