how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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