in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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