My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
