my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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