so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Banned from zoo.
Again?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She told me I should be a condom model.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
