it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
