Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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