This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
how drunk are you?
Several
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
