I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
