fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
