Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
do nipples grow back?
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