; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
