I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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