Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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