Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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