officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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