Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize