I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
