$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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