Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
