You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
