I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
