this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
