he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Come see our sink grown plant.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
