I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
