just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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