I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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