Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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