You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
