just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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