dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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