I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
