i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my being single is dangerous.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize