If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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