is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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